I called South west of England home for over 7 years and then life happened and my definition of home changed once again.
But the bench I had gotten installed in memory of appa is here and I try to visit it every time Im able to travel to the UK.
And each time I feel a nervousness because I worry that it might be vandalised. And that I would feel bad.
So this time I decided I would have another one made in India with the exact same inscription.
*A quiet place to sit and remember the love and guidance.
Until we meet again*
The idea resonated with me. I wouldn't have to worry about it being vandalised and it would be safe
So
another bench in India - yes
Last visit to appas bench here - maybe
As I walked into Anton lakes park in Andover, the wind biting into my face, every step I took around the lake reminded me of the last walk I had had with Appa there. And I smiled. We had just had a KFC meal and were literally walking off the sugar spike. How we both loved that!
And I saw another memorial bench that had red roses under it and I thought " ah maybe I should have brought flowers" but then I mentally shook my head. I had not intended Appa's bench to be a grave that needed to be marked. It was meant to remind us that we are who we are due to the guidance from so many. And it was a place to reflect with gratitude and love.
I walked on, watching the swans swimming towards walkers, honking as they demanded food, boys on bikes teasing each other, older people wrapped up against the cold until I reached the bench. It was intact. And I waited for the rush of relief that never came. Interesting!
I sat down on the bench and looked across the water thinking back on all I've learnt from Appa. The periphery of my attention noticed a couple walk towards the bench and the lady say something in Bengali.
Although I didn't turn to them it struck me how unusual it was for me to run into someone from India at this park. In all the years I've been here, I don't recall meeting anyone from India
I continued sitting and staring across the water, when the lady stopped a few feet away from me and stood. She then quietly started humming a song and I started. It was a Mohd Rafi song and I felt myself tear up because Appa was a huge Rafi Saab fan.
But I still didn't turn to her as I struggled with my emotions. Even though my face was away, I wonder if she sensed my emotions and in a cheerful voice asked me "do you mind if I sit down?"
I whipped my head towards her concerned I may have come across rude and said " of course not. Please do" she sat down smiling and asked me " are you local?"
That was my cue to tell her how I'd lived here for years and how this bench was a memorial bench for Appa and how Appa was a fan of Rafi Saab and how hearing her sing it made it feel kind of magical.
She exclaimed at the sight of my tears and said "I don't usually come here and I don't usually sing out loud. But Today I insisted. And what a beautiful thing for you to do. You're making me well up now "
As I apologised for getting emotional, she responded with something beautifully warm.
"take my number. I live close by. When you next visit your father's bench , come see me"
And this - THIS is what makes life beautiful, don't you agree?
A complete stranger offering warmth, love and the hand of friendship.
Later that evening I messaged her thanking her and added
The world is a brighter place with the light of people like you 💕
And I thought it was apt that appa's bench continues to be a place to think about connections and warmth with gratitude.
So
Another bench in India - yes
Last visit to Appa's bench here - no
