Safe memories

I called South west of England home for over 7 years and then life happened and my definition of home changed once again.

But the bench I had gotten installed in memory of appa is here and I try to visit it every time Im able to travel to the UK.

And each time I feel a nervousness because I worry that it might be vandalised. And that I would feel bad.

So this time I decided I would  have another one made in India with the exact same inscription.

*A quiet place to sit and remember the love and guidance.

Until we meet again*

The idea resonated with me. I wouldn't have to worry about it being vandalised and it would be safe 

So

another bench in India - yes 

Last visit to appas bench here - maybe 

As I walked into Anton lakes park in Andover, the wind biting into my face, every step I took around the lake reminded me of the last walk I had had with Appa there. And I smiled. We had just had a KFC meal and were literally walking off the sugar spike. How we both loved that!

And I saw another memorial bench that had red roses under it and I thought " ah maybe I should have brought flowers" but then I mentally shook my head. I had not intended Appa's bench to be a grave that needed to be marked. It was meant to remind us that we are who we are due to the guidance from so many. And it was a place to reflect with gratitude and love.

I walked on, watching the swans swimming towards walkers, honking as they demanded food, boys on bikes teasing each other, older people wrapped up against the cold until I reached the bench. It was intact. And I waited for the rush of relief that never came. Interesting!

I sat down on the bench and looked across the water thinking back on all I've learnt from Appa. The periphery of my attention noticed a couple walk towards the bench and the lady say something in Bengali.

Although I didn't turn to them it struck me how unusual it was for me to run into someone from India at this park. In all the years I've been here, I don't recall meeting anyone from India 

I continued sitting and staring across the water, when the lady stopped a few feet away from me and stood. She then quietly started humming a song and I started. It was a Mohd Rafi song and I felt myself tear up because Appa was a huge Rafi Saab fan.

But I still didn't turn to her as I struggled with my emotions. Even though my face was away, I wonder if she sensed my emotions and in a cheerful voice asked me "do you mind if I sit down?"

I whipped my head towards her concerned I may have come across rude and said " of course not. Please do"  she sat down smiling and asked me " are you local?"

That was my cue to tell her how I'd lived here for years and how this bench was a memorial bench for Appa and how Appa was a fan of Rafi Saab and how hearing her sing it made it feel kind of magical. 

She exclaimed at the sight of my tears and said "I don't usually come here  and I don't usually sing out loud. But Today I insisted. And what a beautiful thing for you to do. You're making me well up now " 

As I apologised for getting emotional, she responded with something beautifully warm. 

"take my number. I live close by. When you next visit your father's bench , come see me" 

And this - THIS is what makes life beautiful, don't you agree? 

A complete stranger offering warmth, love and the hand of friendship. 

Later that evening I messaged her thanking her and added

The world is a brighter place with the light of people like you 💕

And I thought it was apt that appa's bench continues to be a place to think about connections and warmth with gratitude. 

So 

Another bench in India - yes 

Last visit to Appa's bench here - no 

 

What - no - who is limiting you

Have you ever paused for a moment to question how much you are allowing age and gender and not your ability, to dictate what you can and cannot do?

For the past few workouts I have been working out at Nageshwara Rao park.

It is such an interesting space and in many ways, reflects the way we have allowed gender and age to dictate what fitness should look like and how that is undergoing a slow change.

Women generally come to walk or do yoga. But a handful of older women are different.

One lady comes and casually does her work on the monkey bar, locks her legs and hangs upside down. Another sixty plus lady learns silambam. And this 54 year old climbs and hangs and focuses on grip strength, mobility and balance.

And at every session I have had the most delightful company.

He is all of ten years old, and an archer in the making. He comes there to strengthen his shoulder muscles so he can hold the bow which is now much heavier than before.

What I love about him is the way he accepts me. Not for him the stereotypical limitations of gender, age and size. All he is looking for, is someone who will play with him while he goes about doing what he has to. 

For me it is a joy to be with him because he connects with me in the most elemental level.

There is a metal globe that is about five feet above the ground. We both climbed up and I was trying to climb down through the circle in the centre. The visual of me - a 54 year old woman curling myself into various angles and the little ten year old boy giving me instructions and watching me  is something that makes my heart smile.

And it occurs to me somewhere as we grew older we lost the beauty of these kinds of connections.

We assume that an older person would not be able to do something or maybe not even WANT to do something. And the invisible age limit is much lower for women.

I agree there is a subset that doesn't subscribe to the above stereotypes. And that subset is growing. As it should.

But the most important aspect I think is about how we celebrate milestones - especially in fitness.

We don't often celebrate what we can do without making it about celebrating that we are better than someone else.

And this last one is what I think makes the connection between ten year old and me a joyous one.

There are some things that he is much better than me and others where I am better than him. Yet, for both of us it is about helping the other to get to where we are.

It could be him telling me what I need to do in order to get up on the parallel bar the way he can or me holding his hand as he balances and walks across the fence, the way I can.

But that is not the only similarity.

I also gleefully share videos to my friends saying "look look! Look at what I can do" or even "want to see today's circus? " and my friends (you know who you are 😁❤️) indulgently go "wow" "that's amazing"  and I grin happily at their feedback.

Not very different from the ten year old in the park.

And I wonder.. How much are we allowing age and gender and not our ability, to dictate what we can and cannot do? 

Win some - lose some

Today's amusing adventure. 

Around three a.m, I heard some shuffling sound and I jumped up and turned on the camera app. Who was it? A burglar? Trying to steal tiles?

The noise continued but nothing could be seen on the screen. For a second I wondered if it was some spirit but I quickly squashed that thought. 😁

The noise continued and as I kept trying to pinpoint the direction, it dawned on me that the noise was coming from WITHIN my room!

I sat up and waited. There it was.. A shuffling.. No  SCURRYING sound. I peeped behind me into the half built cabinet and saw a tail vanish into the gap.

Oh hello Mr mouse!

That put paid to my sleep. I was sleeping on a mattress on the ground and I didn't fancy having Mr mouse walk all over me. We don't allow men to do that do we 😁

I quickly lifted my mattress off the ground and waited for Mr Mouse to make an appearance. He did. I must admit he looked rather cute. But even cute men cant be allowed to walk all over us.😉

I giggled as he darted back behind the cupboard when he saw me move. I wondered how he had gotten in and then I remembered. I had TOLD them to close the open drain in the store room. I had foretold EXACTLY this situation.

I walked to the storeroom and lo! It was open. The satisfaction of being right was a win. (Yes my brain does work like that.) I found a tile and placed it on top of the opening and turned back to the kitchen and that's when I realised I'd made a mistake.

Mr Mouse darted out, ran across the kitchen STRAIGHT to the drain that was now closed and ran round it in circles!

I had just closed off the one exit Mr Mouse had! Ah well - win some lose some. But this was just the battle. The war was still on.

I walked slowly towards him talking in a soft voice  (what kind of madness spurred me to do so I know not!) telling him "wait, I'll open it and you can go out"

Obviously he didn't understand and as I pushed the tile aside to give him access to the drain, he darted between my feet and ran back to his hiding place behind the cupboard.

I sighed at my stupidity. How do I get him to go out? 

I placed a pumpkin seed just outside the cabinet entrance and he popped out to nibble at it and then noticed me (like he hadnt seen me before!) and scampered back to hide.

I softly walked up and moved the pumpkin seed and placed another one in the direction of the storeroom and patiently waited for him to come back out.

He came out, grabbed the first one and went back inside. And I thought pfffttt!! if he does the same with the second seed, I wouldnt be able to herd him out.

A few minutes went past and Mr Mouse, having finished the first pumpkin seed came back for the second one.

But me with my super brain had a plan. As soon as he reached the seed, I came up behind him, cutting off  access to his hiding place behind the cabinet. So he did the only thing he knew - darted toward his familiar exit - the drain hole. I went after him and as his cute little tail vanished into the drain hole, I quickly slid the tile to cover it.

Victory ! I felt so clever. I mean it's not every day that one outwits a mouse!

I glanced at the clock it was almost 5 am. I was taken aback at how much time had passed. But I still felt a sense of accomplishment. Put that in your pipe and smoke it Mr Mouse !

I walked up to my French press to make my coffee and I froze. That noise!! Mr Mouse was back? Or was there a Mrs Mouse?👀😳

Like before, I traced the source of the noise and ended up at the storeroom. It was coming from the base of the wash basin.

Mr Mouse had worked his way from the drain outlet to the wash basin a few feet away! He was now trapped between the drain on the right  and the wash basin pipe

I had visions of the plumber lifting the tile covering the drain  and Mr Mouse jumping out at him. (serves him right) The other vision was Mr mouse gnawing his way out through the wash basin drain pipe.

Neither was going to lead to an ideal situation.

I thought I heard Mr Mouse say "now put that in your pipe and smoke it, Ms Anu"

I made a mental note to tell the plumber to solve this problem first thing in the morning. Fingers crossed Mr Mouse doesn't gnaw his way out by then.

Ah well.. Win some.. Lose some.

Natural Born Leader

It was 6 30 in the morning when I got the call. I know it sounds like the precursor for some tragic emergency - it is not

The call was from the guy who was coming to collect my sofa chairs for re upholstering. He was standing at the wrong apartment and asking for directions. Usually I would have gotten impatient, considering I had given the address in writing AS WELL AS the google pin.

But for some reason, maybe because his voice sounded so energetic and confident, I found myself smiling and explaining how to get to my place. 

He asked - no -TOLD me  to stay outside and keep a look out for him.  Ah the voice of a man used to being in charge. A whimsical thought caught hold of me - Maybe this was a natural born leader. 

As I stood in the balcony, I saw him roll in. I was expecting a mini van. Instead what I saw was a trolley rickshaw !! - the kind that has a flat open base at the back. See image below

My eyes narrowed in speculation . How in the world was he going to take my large sofa chairs on that ?? When i voiced my doubts he said "Let me come up and see the chairs." The tone which was a blend of cockiness and caution, brought a smile to my face.

I opened the door to my apartment grinning and the lady in the opposite apartment who opened the door at exactly the same time, smiled back at me. I felt compelled to explain.

" I am getting two of my sofa chairs re upholstered and the guy has come in a trolley rickshaw. Don't know how he is going to take them" She stepped across and peeped into my living room (which of course looks like it has been hit by a cyclone). To her credit she reacted only to the chairs and not the cyclone after effects. She joined me in chuckling about the foolishness of these delivery people. 

To interrupt this shared moment of mirth, came in Krishnamurthy, the rickshaw guy. He was a lean wiry man with a ready smile.

"Where are the chairs?" he asked in that confident voice that I was beginning to like. I invited him in to see them. His face took on a serious look and he said "hmmm.. you have two of these ?" I said 'yes" 

"OK, who will help lift them and take them down?" 

I thought he was missing the point. Being the clever person that I am, I said " But will it fit on that rickshaw?"

Krishnamurthy brushed my doubts aside and went back to his question. 

I said "I will help you carry them" That's when his face got doubtful. It was obvious that he was tallying my gender, social standing, age and who knows what else with my ability to do some physical labour. 

It was my turn to brush HIS doubts aside. "It's ok. I am used to carrying and lifting stuff. Let's do this."

I am not sure if i was seeing things but i saw a flash of approval as I hefted the large chair smoothly from one end.  (Obviously my cue to thank Mari, Sathish, Gopi and all my trainers who have helped me get to this place) We stepped out of the apartment and Krishnamurthy turned towards the lift,

Clever me piped up again. "This is a large chair , it won't fit in the lift"

Krishnamurthy said "Put down the chair with me" and then strode across to the lift , opened the door and looked inside. He then went inside and did a cute comical air calculation - well to my eyes that's what it looked like.  :) 

He held his arms apart - matching the width of the lift opening and squinted at the chair, then whirled around and tilted his hands like he was turning around a large object. He let out a satisfied huff.

He strode back to the chair and said "Do exactly as I say. It will work"

And he proceeded to guide me to lift, to turn, to swivel to push. And voila , the chair fit exactly inside the lift.

At my look of delighted surprise, he smiled back at me and said "If you plan things correctly, everything is possible"

It really was like magic. My mind had not been able to visualise this until he showed me. 

I said happily "Thank you , I have learnt something new today. this is so cool"

Although I spoke in Tamil, I said the last line in English and I thought it was ironic that Mr. Cool, most likely didn't understand what I meant when i said "This is so cool"

We maneuvered the second chair as well into the lift - my skepticism by now laid to permanent rest.

We unloaded them from the lift and carried them to his rickshaw . By this time my confidence in Krishnamurthy's judgement was complete. If he could fit two large sofa chairs inside that tiny lift, he could fit them in his flat rickshaw. 

And I was right. 

He said " Lift the chair with me and place it at the other end " 

I did 

He then said "Now we turn this chair upside down "

We did.

"Now we lift and place it on top of that chair"

We did

And I looked at how neatly the chairs fit. Like a jigsaw puzzle that had found the right person to come along and solve it.

"there it is done" Krishnamurthy's cheerful voice made me smile again.

This man was indeed a born leader. 

You think I am mistaken ? well, look at this - 

He was lost at 6 30 am but cheerfully asked for directions in a way that COULD not be met with irritation. 

He listened to my doubts, did not lose confidence in his ability and judgement and yet held back from jumping to conclusions until he assessed the situation.

Although his own doubts that were a product of stereotypes reared their head when it came to having a woman help him carry a large sofa chair, the moment he saw ability, not only did he simply cast stereotypical doubts aside, he also refrained from giving me any patronising compliments .

He gave clear instructions all the while carrying his share of the load.

And he taught me something new and gained my trust and confidence.

If those aren't the qualities of a natural born leader, then I don't know what is.

Reconnect & Recharge - Aarey Falls

 

Do you want to come for the Reconnect and Recharge retreat? 

For someone who has always been more at home amidst trees and mountains, this question was a no brainer.

I was beside myself with excitement the previous night. I must have woken up about 6 times to check if it was time to leave :) 

“What is your expectation from this retreat?” Sathish asked me. My response: “Trees” I just want to be amidst trees.” 

And I got what I wanted - and more. 

As we made a human chain and walked along the stony river bed, all around us were trees standing mute testimony to the scores of others who have probably done the same. 

Although this was only a  Level 1 retreat, Sathish was worried about my knee. 

As for me, it was not the knee that I was concerned about. It was my feet. And I was right. After years of being mollycoddled with soft footwear, my feet hurt like the devil. 

Usually in such situations, the thought in my mind is not “come on! you can do it” 

It is a much more gentle “Let’s see how much of this you can handle. If you can't, you can step out”

Except in this case, I was leading the human chain and I knew that if I gave up, it would affect everyone’s mood too. Sometimes moods have a domino effect, especially when we are out of our comfort zone.  I had to reword my usual statement. So what did I tell myself? 

“This is not an endless walk. Be careful and focus on transferring what you learn to others by making their journey easier. You have a good pain tolerance. Use it”

And it worked. I clambered on to the bank with not a small amount of relief. As I pulled on my hard trekking shoes, I felt more secure.

So what did I learn from this? It is possible to push your boundaries and tolerance a bit more when you think of more than just yourself. 

Then we reached the second task. That was collecting stones from the river bed and walking across along the river bed, to a spot to arrange them on top of each other. 

My immediate response was “I am sitting this one out” And Sathish said “ok” But as he continued explaining, a little voice said “It sounds like so much fun. Don’t you want to do it?” 

Now people who know me, know that the moment I think something is fun, it is hard for me to resist. So off came my boots and I set off on the task. My feet of course protested even loudly but my mind, occupied by the strategising and  the fun of the activity, overrode the protests.

I was also carefully noting the pain levels to see if it was escalating. To be fair it was not. But between that and the fun I was having, I didn’t realise that I was not giving my partner enough of an opportunity to try balancing the stones.

What did I learn? When it is a team activity, we can turn our focus inwards, and use our love for fun to push past pain, but in the process we must be aware that the journey isn't ours alone. 

It is always a balance isn't it? Between thinking about others and thinking about self?

And it is ok to swing between the extremes as long as you can find the middle every now and then. 

The third activity was something that was different for me. We were asked to pick a tree and connect with it. Everyone made a beeline for one tree or the other. But for me I felt those tendrils of connections coming from everywhere. Every tree was the same connection. I waited for the tree to find me. Sathish came up to me to ask “You like large and big, right? Look, there is a large tree. See if that connects”

I walked across to the tree he pointed . As I approached it I reached out to another trunk beside it and thought to myself  “I will use this one to get to that tree” and then realised that this was also part of that same big tree. 

And i felt as if the tree said “That is also me” 

I smiled at the whimsical thought . How many such interconnections are we missing in this world ?

I felt a rush of gratitude for this large giant tree that had sparked off this thought. And I looked around me with this altered thought and I could see how everything in the forest connected and supported each other. I felt a kind of magic in what I saw and the voice inside teased me gently for my willingness to see magic everywhere. But then it is this willingness that has given me the energy to move past many situations in life. So I was not going to get rid of that in a hurry

We had almost reached the end of the Level One Experience. Until then, there had been no noisy tourists. This changed when we reached the falls. 

There was a group of extremely noisy ones and for someone who had walked up to that point in calm and silence broken by desultory conversation that was focused on the present, the screams and yells disturbed me much more than usual. I knew I had to retreat and this time I DID excuse myself from the activity and found a calm quiet spot away from this bedlam and found my centre again. 

And as usual a voice inside asked me “Why did you react so strongly ?” And I realised it was because I was not prepared. 

I had assumed that we would be the only ones and that we would be able to enjoy the forest in my way. 

This was a reminder that people also defined enjoyment with noise. 

And there came my next lesson:  The best way to go through life is to bear in mind that peace is something that you have to be grateful for when you have it. And instead of being resentful when others disturb it, we would do well to step away and find it within ourselves again. 

There was also another practical thought I have made a note of - Need to add my feet to the list of things I need to sort and manage.

And as we came back to the cars, I was tired but only physically. Mentally I knew it wouldn't be long before my love for being amidst trees pushed me to find those moments and experiences.

And I smile even now when I think of the lessons I had picked up along the way. As always, they were not lessons just for the trek. 

They were for life. 

Good Art

When Amritha of Hindusthan Trading invited me to the opening of the Art Studio in their second floor, I happily accepted.

I love supporting local business and if it means investing time, then so be it. I do fancy myself something of a good human being ;) Or at least better than what I have been in the past.

At the event, I was moderating a panel discussion on the future of art and the role of new mediums . We had some amazing people on the panel - all of them artists who had explored, pivoted and  paved their own way in the field of art they had chosen.

My conversation with Mr. Mark Rathinaraj is what remains in etched in my memory.

At the end of the session, I approached him and said Sir i want to learn water colour painting and he smiled and said "Art is not taught, only the medium is taught" and then proceeded to ask me about why I was interested. As the conversation progressed, I, being my usual unabashed enthusiastic self,  jumped in and said "Can i show you my work?" ("Work" ?? calling the few pieces I have attempted to paint "work" is stretching it but ....well..work it shall be )

Now a bit of background about Mr. Rathinaraj  - he is an incredibly talented artist, who has worked in charcoal, acrylic, mixed media as well as wood sculpting, his work has been exhibited all over the world and some of his works are priced in lakhs.  Just so you know the kind of level we are talking about.

Background about me ? as an artist? errrr well... you get the picture.. or lack there of :) 

To his credit, he didn't even wince. He said "Sure. Show me" and that's when it struck me what I had just done was quite stupid. :) 

I back pedaled furiously saying " It is only a copy. I don't know how to do original stuff" Total face palm moment that !!

He gently interrupted my blabbing and said " Every art is original. even if you copy, you cannot exactly copy another artist's work"  

Somewhat emboldened, partly sheepish I stuck forward my phone to show him my charcoal sketch of a horse. 

A part of me wanted him to say "Your work is great" but another part of me knew I was being silly. And yet another part of me was curious how he was going to wrangle out of this situation with grace. And boy did he do just that!

He looked at the sketch and then looked at me and said "You know what I appreciate most about this? The sincerity with which you have executed it." He then pointed to the two sections below

"You could have just finished the horse. but you took the time and effort to work on these details" I gaped at him. Those were the two details that were NOT on the original . I had added them both on a whim.

As I told him that with a note of awe, he smiled at me and with a twinkle in his eye said "Not bad no? I was able to pick that bit of originality?"

And I was floored by the goodness as well as the honesty in this interaction. 

He could have just said "very nice" or even lied and called me an artist with great potential. Alternately he could have ripped me apart for having the temerity to even show my "work" to him,  that too a copy of someone else's work.

He did neither. He unerringly picked the two things that were truly mine and made a positive comment on that.

I must also commend my grace in not pushing him for a feedback on the main picture ..or was it my intelligence? After all if he had anything to say about it, he would have. 

Something he had said during the panel discussion flashed in my mind. He had said "Art made me a good human being"  And I was thinking how it isn't until you meet someone better than you , that you realise that you still have progress to make!

As I was savouring in the moment, he turned to Mr. Manohar and said "Sir, she wants to learn water colour" and Mr. Manohar said "I can definitely teach you. But you will have to give me one year. And be sincere and focused and do the home work" 

My sheepishness vanished as I realised I was back again in familiar territory. 

I grinned widely and said " Sir, Once I sort some of the things in my life , I am going to come to you to learn. As for practice  and homework, I am very good like that."

What I didn't tell him was that i knew i wasn't good enough at something else - that I was also hoping that Art would make ME a good human being too. Better than what I was at the moment. 

Only time will tell. 

Little Warrior

I have been quite aware that with ageing, there is loss of muscle mass, that sense of balance deteriorates, there is loss of energy and that memory gets a bit fuzzy. 

I thought I was prepared for all of the above and that I was actively countering each of them. I was doing my weight training and natural movements to help with the muscle gain and balance training to retrain and retain sense of balance. I was doing meditation and vitamin supplements ensuring good quality of sleep and playing PEAK ( a memory training game).

When I wrote the above paragraph, I couldn't help smiling at what a little warrior I am. An ageing one but still a little warrior. 

I love that attitude. Doing the best I can to counter whatever cards I am dealt . And if my best is not good enough, accepting the cards in my hand. I was feeling quite pleased with myself when something happened that reminded me that I needed to have a bit more clarity between when to counter and when to accept.

I had lost my driving license some time back, and although someone on social media messaged me saying they had found it and that they would send it to me, it never happened. And I could not find the message in the melee of messages in my inbox and so I thought maybe it was a fake message and the license was lost after all. I  applied for a duplicate and got one. 

Then I went on my road trip . Some of you may have seen  the videos I had made covering Pattiveeranpatty and Talayar Valley Bungalow.  as part of my #UlaghamAnuAnuVaagha series.

At Talayar Valley Bungalow, I was checking in and I was asked for ID. I gave my ID to Jiyesh, the manager,  and I distinctly recall telling myself to be mentally present, and not absent mindedly drop it somewhere, like I have done in the past. I recall taking it and putting it back in my wallet.

I come back home and ten days later I had to go to Hyderabad for work and my license is nowhere to be found. I check my purse - not there. I message Jiyesh and ask him to check if it has fallen in the room - it is not there. I check my suitcase and even my unused socks, it is  not there!

And this was the duplicate license that I had applied and received not more than two months ago! 

My first thought was what will the RTO think? second though was how can I ask the same person to get me yet another duplicate. Puppy shame. :) 

So I did what every sensible person would do. I relegated it to the background and continued with life. :) :) 

Until I could not postpone it any longer. At which point, (after I looked in a few  more improbable places - like the fridge, ) I asked a friend to find me someone who can help get me a duplicate license. Different person of course, to save me the embarrassment. I was not looking forward to the RTO people's reaction but hey!one embarrassment at a time -  we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

This morning, my friend messaged me, asking me to send two photos, my aadhar card copy and a copy of my license. I had the first two - but when I searched for the copy of my license , I realised I did not even have a copy of the newly issued license. My heart sank. This was going from bad to worse! I  told him I was looking for the copy of the latest license and sat there pondering.

And then I had a brainwave - Jiyesh had taken a copy of my ID, he would have it! After all, that is the last time I thought I had seen my license. So I messaged Jiyesh asking him to send me a copy of the driving license he had taken.

And guess what the response was? "Ma'am you only gave me your aadhar card for registration. Not your license." And my inner voice went "what???"

Talayar valley bungalow was the only place that needed to see my ID for registration. They had been given Aadhar card . And I had never taken out my license anywhere else. So if my license was not in my purse, after the trip, it could only mean one thing -  It was never there in the first place. Step aside Sherlock Holmes!

I felt hope surge in me. I scrambled to the cupboard where I keep the RC card copy and opened the pouch and voila! there  it was ..my driving license!

I was delighted. I thanked Jiyesh and told him I had found my license. Then messaged my friend saying I had found my license and does he still want a copy :) :) 

He sent back a face palm emoji . I grinned and replied "sorry for the trouble but you can thank me for the comedy" His response "goodnight" (it was 8 am) I smiled at that and sat there for a while savouring the relief.

As the grin faded my usual pensive thoughts floated back to the fore front. There was something to pay attention to. I had not realised that my confidence in myself was also deteriorating with age. 

I was quick to assume I had lost my license because I did not trust myself . It was true that I had forgotten which ID I had given but I had preempted my absent mindedness and kept the license safe in the correct place. Hmmmm.....

So, NOW,  I think I have to add one more to my list of things to work on as I age - a realistic perception of my own reliability. Read that again..pause ..see what I mean?

ah now that is going to be a big one :) 

Did someone say little warrior?