Do you want to come for the Reconnect and Recharge retreat?
For someone who has always been more at home amidst trees and mountains, this question was a no brainer.
I was beside myself with excitement the previous night. I must have woken up about 6 times to check if it was time to leave :)
“What is your expectation from this retreat?” Sathish asked me. My response: “Trees” I just want to be amidst trees.”
And I got what I wanted - and more.
As we made a human chain and walked along the stony river bed, all around us were trees standing mute testimony to the scores of others who have probably done the same.
Although this was only a Level 1 retreat, Sathish was worried about my knee.
As for me, it was not the knee that I was concerned about. It was my feet. And I was right. After years of being mollycoddled with soft footwear, my feet hurt like the devil.
Usually in such situations, the thought in my mind is not “come on! you can do it”
It is a much more gentle “Let’s see how much of this you can handle. If you can't, you can step out”
Except in this case, I was leading the human chain and I knew that if I gave up, it would affect everyone’s mood too. Sometimes moods have a domino effect, especially when we are out of our comfort zone. I had to reword my usual statement. So what did I tell myself?
“This is not an endless walk. Be careful and focus on transferring what you learn to others by making their journey easier. You have a good pain tolerance. Use it”
And it worked. I clambered on to the bank with not a small amount of relief. As I pulled on my hard trekking shoes, I felt more secure.
So what did I learn from this? It is possible to push your boundaries and tolerance a bit more when you think of more than just yourself.
Then we reached the second task. That was collecting stones from the river bed and walking across along the river bed, to a spot to arrange them on top of each other.
My immediate response was “I am sitting this one out” And Sathish said “ok” But as he continued explaining, a little voice said “It sounds like so much fun. Don’t you want to do it?”
Now people who know me, know that the moment I think something is fun, it is hard for me to resist. So off came my boots and I set off on the task. My feet of course protested even loudly but my mind, occupied by the strategising and the fun of the activity, overrode the protests.
I was also carefully noting the pain levels to see if it was escalating. To be fair it was not. But between that and the fun I was having, I didn’t realise that I was not giving my partner enough of an opportunity to try balancing the stones.
What did I learn? When it is a team activity, we can turn our focus inwards, and use our love for fun to push past pain, but in the process we must be aware that the journey isn't ours alone.
It is always a balance isn't it? Between thinking about others and thinking about self?
And it is ok to swing between the extremes as long as you can find the middle every now and then.
The third activity was something that was different for me. We were asked to pick a tree and connect with it. Everyone made a beeline for one tree or the other. But for me I felt those tendrils of connections coming from everywhere. Every tree was the same connection. I waited for the tree to find me. Sathish came up to me to ask “You like large and big, right? Look, there is a large tree. See if that connects”
I walked across to the tree he pointed . As I approached it I reached out to another trunk beside it and thought to myself “I will use this one to get to that tree” and then realised that this was also part of that same big tree.
And i felt as if the tree said “That is also me”
I smiled at the whimsical thought . How many such interconnections are we missing in this world ?
I felt a rush of gratitude for this large giant tree that had sparked off this thought. And I looked around me with this altered thought and I could see how everything in the forest connected and supported each other. I felt a kind of magic in what I saw and the voice inside teased me gently for my willingness to see magic everywhere. But then it is this willingness that has given me the energy to move past many situations in life. So I was not going to get rid of that in a hurry
We had almost reached the end of the Level One Experience. Until then, there had been no noisy tourists. This changed when we reached the falls.
There was a group of extremely noisy ones and for someone who had walked up to that point in calm and silence broken by desultory conversation that was focused on the present, the screams and yells disturbed me much more than usual. I knew I had to retreat and this time I DID excuse myself from the activity and found a calm quiet spot away from this bedlam and found my centre again.
And as usual a voice inside asked me “Why did you react so strongly ?” And I realised it was because I was not prepared.
I had assumed that we would be the only ones and that we would be able to enjoy the forest in my way.
This was a reminder that people also defined enjoyment with noise.
And there came my next lesson: The best way to go through life is to bear in mind that peace is something that you have to be grateful for when you have it. And instead of being resentful when others disturb it, we would do well to step away and find it within ourselves again.
There was also another practical thought I have made a note of - Need to add my feet to the list of things I need to sort and manage.
And as we came back to the cars, I was tired but only physically. Mentally I knew it wouldn't be long before my love for being amidst trees pushed me to find those moments and experiences.
And I smile even now when I think of the lessons I had picked up along the way. As always, they were not lessons just for the trek.
They were for life.